Geronimo Simpson.

   Simpson is a pigment of my imagination, to wit he does not exist, even though he lives at 47 Donnington Avenue Cheadle. Geronimo Simpson is married to a coloured person who's gender is unknown. Most people are coloured, but some are more coloured than others. I will not mention this 'colour' aspect of Geronimo Simpson's partner as this could and hopefully does offend people.

    Geronimo Simpson is much hated by American Service Men who are usually members of Airborne Divisions. He has been blamed for the soiled trousers & the accidental death of several members of the American Airborne Division. Service men, I know I witter on quite a lot, (see footnotes 1 & 2), in fact excessively about those idiots 'the Americans' but on this occasion I am not wittering on about those idiot's 'the Americans', much as I would like to, that is, write about those idiots 'the Americans, and not, not write about those idiot 'the Americans'. No indeed, indeed no, the subject of this missive is Geronimo Simpson, who's name appears several times in this article. Geronimo Simpson is a fine upstanding member of society, especially during sexual intercourse.

    Several letters of complaint have been sent to the chief of staff of the Airborne Division requesting that the adrenalin arousing cry when departing an in-flight airplane should be changed to 'Hillary Beconsfield'. Controversial as this is, the President of the Harmed Services stood firm and argued that the Airborne Divisions must preserve tradition, and he claimed he was not persuaded that the cry of 'Hillary Beconsfield' would reduce the number of casualties, albeit, not all of them, fatal, when on manoeuvres or during frontline action. He claimed that he was aware that the British would of had a referendum to decide the issue but went on to say that the British were battle losers. The Chicago Herald Tribune reported this as a reference to the American War of Independence, and pointed out that Geronimo had been, although an Apache, a certified American hero, well that was to most of the twenty three remaining Apache. The Herald Tribune permitted no column space to 'Hillary Beconsfield' and this did not escape the eye of the East Coast Press.

    The Baltimore Standard and the New York Times both ran articles claiming that although 'Hillary Beconsfield' was the mans world champion long distance runner his name was feminine. The Standard and the Times both claimed that the Herald Tribune was patently gender prejudice, and that only they, the Times and Standard, had the right to be right.

   

 

 

Footnotes:

1/ footnote:  cross-reference appearing at bottom of the page

2/ witter:  verb chatter, chat, rabbit (on) (Brit. informal), babble, waffle (informal, chiefly Brit.), cackle, twaddle, clack, burble, gab (informal), prattle, tattle, jabber, blab, gabble, blather, blether, prate She witters on about her boyfriend all the time.