Chisholm's sweater had been knitted by his Aunty Maureen, the sweater, when Chisholm was wearing it made him look like a son of a bitch who gave ner'y a jot.

    Even though Chisholm gave ner'y a jot about Philately Mrs. Vera Waverly had reported him to the authorities and he was now on the Category A list of the Philatelist's Register. This in itself was not remarkable as not everyone was enamoured with Chisholm, it may have been the sweater but personally I think it was his disrespectful habit of once a year breaking wind during the Queens speech. Chisholm had the dubious history , or should that be record, of having been married four times, now that is more than any rational man would indulge.

    I will not mention the war, but this unmentionable time heralded in the greatest surge in knitting since the Roman Empire. Shortages were abundant during the time of the unmentionable and for many years later. Even extending unto in the time of Liz II, rain, known in history as the interval that the sun set on the British Empire, of the time of the 'wets'. The British working class women became great knitters and indeed many men also did. To this very day the British are the biggest nit's on and beneath, (where mines are still flourishing), the surface and subterranean globe. I regret the demise of the British Empire, I miss the free apple and bag of coco we all received on Empire day, and of course I have still not quite mastered the art of not being superior.

    It is in the subterranean globe that the Foreign & Commonwealth Ministry keep their moles, the moles are disguised as undercover agents. The disguise of these moles is so successful that no one has realised that the agents are actually working for Avon. Working for Avon is a calling, similar to the church, albeit not quite as profitable.

   He asked "what doeth", doeth is the vernacular used by the ominous black dress wearing orthodox lunatics that promulgate utter nonsense and get paid to do so, it profit a man etc. if he lose'th his sole etc". Apart from getting his feet wet I have absolutely no idea.

    I majored in 'No Idea' and this has helped me become very rich with lots of toadies disguised as friends, or vice versa.

         This, being rich, means that I can disseminate my large E's, willy nilly, nearly used a rude word then, please forgive me. Well this distributing large E's is a tiresome activity as the Medical Profession have launched a campaign to reduce the E's. You just wait, when all the E's have gone and the I's have nothing to come before the Meddling Profession will regret their champagne.